The other night I was watching TV at 2:30 a.m., as is my custom. At that time of night, your choices are limited to bad movies, gossip shows and infomercials. None of these choices are good but the infomercials can be entertaining, at times. The one with Mr. T. is kind of funny and when you come across a Time Life CD collection, it's good viewing. Hearing 10 seconds of every song, from a given decade, is a pleasant way to pass the early morning hours.
If you get tired enough, the products in these commercials start to seem useful, even necessary and excellent value too. Why wouldn't you want two Slap Chops for the price of one? And, if they're willing to throw in a Graty, all the better! Let's face it, Vince could sell condoms to a nun.
Like I was saying, the other night I was watching some late-night TV and I saw, quite possibly, the most ridiculous infomercial yet! It was for a piece of exercise equipment. One of those core machines, I can't remember the name, where you sit and rotate the top half of your body and the bottom half of your body in opposite directions.
Naturally, there were shots of very fit and healthy people swinging their bodies back and forth, on this contraption, in an effort to convince the weak and the fatigued that we too can have a core of steel. The individual exercisers became a group, each with a machine, still twisting vigorously, enjoying each other's company whilst improving their lives with this indispensable piece of equipment.
Then, without warning, the group was in front of the Eiffel Tower! The Eiffel Tower? Of course, why wouldn't you and an ensemble of your closest friends do an ab workout with a major European landmark as your backdrop? This group of 'athletes' didn't see anything strange about it, or if they did, they certainly didn't let on.
Just because you have access to a green-screen, doesn't mean you have to use it. It was such an incongruous image. First I laughed and then I realised my intelligence was being insulted, just a little bit. Even at 2:30 a.m. I had the mental agility to leap from humour to offence. They thought I was a sucker!
So I phoned the number on the screen, to complain about the ridiculous premise of the advertisement and ask them if they actually took me for an idiot, and they talked me into buying the machine.
No. That last part didn't actually happen.