It's time to give a progress or regress report.
This week was a total waste, at my end. I couldn't get my act together. My motivation was down the toilet and I did very little of value. No exercise, little house work, very little writing and I ate like I just didn't care anymore.
You know what I think the problem is? I think I'm sick of it. I'm sick of dieting. I'm sick of having "workout 'til you feel like puking" on my to-do list every day. More than anything, I'm sick of shopping around the perimeter of the grocery store, looking for fresh, healthy foods that never satisfy a single craving.
So I rebelled.
But, in juxtaposition to my rebellion, I am DESPIRATE to NEVER be fat again. I hate that I've gained back some of the weight I lost. I hate that I feel less elegant than I did a year ago. I hate that I'm currently stuffing myself into cloths that should fit properly.
I went for a run today. It didn't go well. I started out too aggressively and about two thirds of the way through I was defeated by the heat and had to walk home. Never-the-less, I feel better now than I would have if I'd done nothing...vanquished as I am.
I'm going to take it one day at a time this week and get my head back on straight. My inner foodzilla may have won the battle, but she will not win the war.
